Leadership Changed Everything

In 2010, my church was struggling. A major conflict had erupted between the ministry team and the eldership board, resulting in the resignation of the senior pastor and most of the pastoral team within a few months. It was a heartbreaking time for my church, and by extension, my life and faith. I was devastated. Those leaders had mentored me, cared for me, encouraged me, and provided opportunities for me to grow and develop. And then, suddenly, they were gone and along with them, half the church.

My husband and I prayed and discussed leaving to find a new church home, but the need at our church felt so great. I couldn't abandon my community at a time when they needed us all to band together.

Fast forward 12 months, and I had my first child and our church had a new senior pastor who was doing a great job helping the congregation heal and move into a new season. I had just returned to work, in a job I enjoyed, after maternity leave and was loving life. That blissful time when you have just one child — you've overcome the challenges of feeding and sleepless nights, your baby is in a good routine, and you and your spouse are on cloud nine, enjoying the excitement of watching your child grow and develop. I was excited to get home from work each day to play with my little one, and my days were filled with endless cuddles and giggles. Remember those days? Ah, those days.

It was during this season I received a phone call from our senior pastor inviting me to come in for a chat over a cuppa. As I hung up the phone, I felt a flutter of expectation in my stomach. I told my husband, "I think the pastor is going to ask me to lead the worship ministry."

"That's a bit arrogant of you," he replied. Perhaps it was, or perhaps it was the Holy Spirit speaking to me, preparing me.

I came home from that meeting with the satisfaction of saying to my husband, "I told you so." Don't you just love those moments?

My twenties had been a season of incredible blessing and spiritual growth. My church had supported me in developing my gifts and abilities, and I had begun to sense God's call on my life to make ministry within the church a key priority in my life. I considered going to Bible college and pursuing ministry that way, but my sense of calling felt more connected to my local church community than to a career path. So, when the pastor asked if I'd consider leading the worship ministry part-time, it felt like a natural progression in my faith journey and a confirmation of my sense of call to ministry. I accepted the role.

With no formal ministry, theological, or leadership training, I stepped into the most rewarding and most challenging season of my life: leadership. It changed everything.

Suddenly, I was the person others looked to. People I had once looked up to were now looking to me. All my relationships within the church shifted. My pastor was now my boss. My family members were also among those I led and family dinners felt like work. When my friends expressed frustration about things they didn’t like, I felt responsible. It was now my job to provide feedback to friends, hold people accountable when they weren't meeting expectations, and navigate complicated multilayered relationships. My place of worship had become my workplace. My social life, work life, spiritual life, and family life all blended together, and I felt I had no control over any of it. I was definitely no longer on cloud nine! Leadership changed my relationship with everything and everyone. 

Fourteen years on, I still wrestle with these challenges. Let's face it: being a leader is hard, especially in your home church. We wouldn’t be human if these dynamics were easy. To use a Ted Lasso metaphor, “If you’re comfortable riding a horse then you’re probably doing it wrong”. If you are comfortable in leadership then you're probably doing it wrong, because the responsibility is weighty, especially in Christian leadership and church. We need to take it seriously and learn to live in the uncomfortable.

Over the years, God has taught me a lot — mostly through my mistakes and what I failed to do. I didn’t have anyone to help me process the challenges, to acknowledge and validate my struggles. I needed someone to challenge me to not to let my people pleasing anxiety drive my decisions, and to provide me with strategies to navigate these issues. 

Appointed From Within has been birthed from that place of struggle and a desire to come alongside other church leaders and pastors. My hope is that no leader has to struggle alone, but rather they have someone supporting and encouraging them as they navigate all the complexities that being a leader brings. Leaders need people to talk to who’s relationship with them is not multi layered, people they don’t lead. Leaders need mentors who can identify with the personal struggles of leadership while providing insight, encouragement, and practical strategies to grow in life and leadership.

If you are reading this and you are a leader in your church or organisation (whether paid or volunteer), do you have a mentor like this? Do you have someone you regularly meet with who is not in your organisation? Do you have a mentor that identifies with your situation? Do you have a mentor that not only listens but provides you with strategies to try to help you grow?

If you’ve answered "yes" then I am so glad. You already know the importance of this relationship in your life and leadership.

If you’ve answered "no", keep reading my blogs, follow me on socials, and consider getting yourself a mentor. Especially if you have been Appointed From Within!

Sal x

A youth band rehearsal at my home church